Observe the Absurd: Expiring Water, Sleep Scores and Tip Screens

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Observe the Absurd: Half a List of Everyday Absurdities

Why does bottled water have an expiration date? In this episode of The Absurdists, Marlo Anderson shows up with a list of everyday absurdities he has been observing (observe the absurd!), and he and Mary Murphy start working their way down it. First up: we now pay gadgets to watch us sleep. Mary admits her sleep-scoring ring started telling her how tired she should feel, which leads to privacy fine print nobody reads, step-count competitions and the ring camera videos we all binge.

Then it’s standing in line to stand in line, from amusement parks to the jet bridge, TSA PreCheck and Clear lines that are getting as long as the regular one, water bottles with expiration dates, fake cobwebs and plastic reindeer on office buildings (plus a pitch for a National Day tree), terms and conditions nobody reads, a unit of measurement named after a horse, and the nine-minute snooze button.

Along the way: carpet in airports (and the Portland carpet people photograph their feet on), “new and improved” screwdrivers, juice-box ambushes, apologizing to furniture, decaf coffee, the indoor sky at the Venetian and the birds at the Sphere, tip screens on a cup of coffee you poured yourself, the relative who turned free lemons into free lemonade, resume paper, “going up?” on the ground floor, measuring success by how busy we are, and packaging you need a pry bar to open. They only make it through half the list.

The Absurdists, where logic takes a back seat. Season 2, Episode 3 with Marlo Anderson and Mary Murphy.